Change we can believe in!

This is great. WSJ outlines the corrupt machinations of the party without a "culture of corruption" - and the new year hasn't even started yet. Remember all the protestations over Bush 2 being a "dynastic" president? Only got elected 'cos of daddy?

I guess political dynasties are frowned upon in america - unless your name is Kennedy (it's nice the democrats have a Sarah Palin of their very own in Caroline), Biden, Cuomo, Salazar, or Pelosi. Of course if you don't have a heavy-hitting Democtratic party-machine family, you can move to Chicago and just buy your seat!

WSJ - December 31, 2008

Dynasty

The Democratic Party's Senate Soap Opera

For those who thought the new era of Democratic governance would be dull, we present this year's Senate replacement follies. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich kept the entertainment going yesterday by defying just about everyone and nominating former state Attorney General Roland Burris to the seat being vacated by President-elect Obama.

Recall that federal prosecutors had gone public with their criminal complaint against Mr. Blagojevich earlier this month expressly to deter him from making such an appointment. Mr. Obama had then declared that the Governor should not make an appointment, and Senate Democrats had said they wouldn't seat anyone Mr. Blagojevich did appoint. Majority Leader Harry Reid repeated that pledge yesterday regarding Mr. Burris, who lost to the Governor in a primary in 2002 but then was vice chairman of his transition team.

Democrats who run the state assembly are still trying to impeach Mr. Blagojevich, but meantime they've stepped back from allowing a special election for the seat. Democrats hope to dump the Governor and then have his replacement appoint a different Democrat. No doubt they're afraid Republicans might win given this exquisite display of competent, honest Democratic government.

Meanwhile, Democrats in New York are fighting over Caroline Kennedy's campaign to be appointed to the Senate seat being vacated by Secretary of State nominee Hillary Clinton. Former Democrat and former Republican and now independent Mayor Mike Bloomberg is all for the idea, as reportedly is Mr. Obama, whom the daughter of JFK and niece of Senator Ted Kennedy endorsed at a crucial moment during the Presidential primaries. Not so happy is New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, the son of a former three-term Governor, who would like the seat himself and was once married to a Kennedy.

Caught in the middle is Democrat David Paterson, who will appoint a new Senator but is Governor himself only because Eliot Spitzer flamed out with a prostitute. Ms. Kennedy hasn't helped herself with a recent spate of interviews showing she doesn't know very much about many public issues. But then how much worse could she be than the professional politicians who populate Albany or represent New York in Washington? Democrats will outnumber Republicans in New York's House delegation next year, 26-3, and it speaks volumes about their abilities that Mr. Paterson might choose a dynastic neophyte over any of them.

Lest it be overlooked, there's also the spectacle in Delaware, where the soon-to-depart Joe Biden has arranged to have a crony appointed to take his Senate seat of 36 years. Edward "Ted" Kaufman, a former aide to Mr. Biden, is expected to keep the seat away from a more ambitious Democrat for two years, until Joe's son Beau Biden, the state attorney general, can return from his National Guard tour in Iraq and run in 2010 to maintain the family business.

And don't forget Colorado, where a mooted Senate replacement for Secretary of Interior nominee Ken Salazar is his brother, Congressman John Salazar. Democratic Governor Bill Ritter, who has benefited from the money and organization of the Salazar political machine, will make that appointment.So to recap all of this change you can believe in: A Kennedy and Cuomo are competing to succeed a Clinton in New York; the skids are greased for a Biden to replace a Biden in Delaware; one Salazar might replace another in Colorado; and a Governor charged with political corruption in Illinois wants one of his cronies to succeed the President-elect. Let's just say we're looking forward to 2009.

NJ as a bad example

Great – this is how we want to be remembered, as an example to the rest of the nation of what not to do. This coming at a time when Louisiana and Illinois are still... states. Unfortunately this post in the WSJ doesn’t cover the state’s endemic corruption problem, or the terminal cancer of union power in the state government and education system.

New Jersey Is the Perfect Bad Example

Obama should look here to see what high taxes do.

When Barack Obama makes his New Year's resolutions, at the top of his list ought to be the following: "I will not allow America to become New Jersey." Think of it as our gift to the nation. Other states offer promising experiments in areas such as Medicaid, taxes, education and regulatory reform. In contrast, the People's Republic of New Jersey offers America something truly unique: the perfect bad example.

As harmful as this has been for our own prosperity, our example could be invaluable for President-elect Obama. That's especially true given that his team appears to be considering some of the same things that have long been popular in Trenton. For years, the solons in our state capital have operated on the assumption that you can have high taxes everywhere -- on income, on property, on business -- without suffering any consequences.

Well, Gov. Jon Corzine is now dealing with those consequences, and his budgets show it. Earlier this year, he pushed through a budget that was one of the few in New Jersey history to be less than the one that preceded it. With revenues now running $1.2 billion short of what was expected, the next budget will undoubtedly be tougher still.

Not all of Mr. Corzine's choices have been good ones. In fairness, however, he is dealing with huge problems that have been years in the making. In some ways, we are a mini-California. That is to say, where New Jersey was once a national leader in terms of economic growth and job creation, more recently we have become a national laggard.

It seems not to have dented the consciousness of our political class that New Jersey's dismal economic performance might be linked to the state's tax policy. According to the nonpartisan Tax Foundation, New Jersey is home to the most hostile tax environment for business in the nation. We also bear the nation's highest burden of state and local taxes. And on the list of the 10 counties with the highest median property tax, we claim seven of them.

During the last recession, we began to feel the full weight of these burdens. Other states responded by cutting back on spending and getting their houses in order. Not New Jersey. Then-Gov. Jim McGreevey added to the burden by borrowing and spending and raising the corporate tax -- including the imposition of an alternative minimum tax on business. And we've been paying for these bad choices ever since.

Mr. Obama might pay special attention to what these measures have meant for jobs, especially given his expressed concern for the struggling middle class. Though the state did ultimately emerge from recession in 2003, private-sector job creation since then has been a pale shadow of what we enjoyed after the recessions of the 1980s and 1990s.

Of course, there was one area where jobs did grow. From 2000 to 2007, says the New Jersey Business & Industry Association, the government added 54,800 jobs. To put that in proper perspective, that works out to 93% of all jobs created in New Jersey over those seven years.

So how do we respond to these new hard times? Beginning New Year's Day, New Jersey workers will see even more money taken from their paychecks. The money will support a new mandate offering six weeks of paid family leave to almost all New Jersey employees -- right on down to those working in very small operations. In itself, the family-leave tax will not be the ruin of the state economy. But the imposition of yet another new tax at this moment bespeaks a lack of seriousness about what both New Jersey workers and businesses can afford.

For the moment, Mr. Corzine, like Mr. Obama, is putting his faith in public-works spending. Indeed, he has even called on the president-elect to expand his own plans for an infrastructure stimulus to $1 trillion. And it would be hard to deny that our tired infrastructure could use some attention.

But amid all the debate over jump-starting the economy through public works, we risk losing sight of a larger truth: What governors and citizens alike need most is a growing economy that is creating jobs for the people and sending revenue to the capital. Over the long run, the only way to have a healthy and growing economy is to do exactly what New Jersey has not: Trust the people with their own money, and create an environment where initiative and enterprise are rewarded rather than penalized.

Absent a thorough-going revolution in Trenton, New Jersey may be lost for some time to come. But if Mr. Obama can learn from our bad example and do the opposite, New Jersey's loss might yet be America's gain.

Is "Legal and Compliance" review of Santa warranted?

Apparently, Santa "sees you when you're sleeping" and "knows when you're awake"... Does he know when you're awake because he suddenly can't see you any more? Or does he also watch you when you're awake? And if the latter, does he watch you on the can or in the shower? What are the boundaries? If he "sees you" in a burning house, does he call 911?

Does the watching apply to people like me, who get gifts from my wife instead of Santa? Or is there an allocation of responsibility, so that if I give YOU a gift I have to watch you in the shower?

I think we all need to revisit Santa's prospectus and privacy policy.

What's wrong with you perfume-people??

It takes a certain amount of conviction in one's own cognitive abilities to consciously make very bad decisions. For example, my eyes and nostrils are both watering from the cloud of cloying perfume worn by the woman next to me on the train. She must have deliberately applied it in such quantities this morning. With full consciousness of the consequences of her decision, she filled up her fish tank with a Costco-brand perfume, then dunked her whole head and/or ass in it.

You know that nasty buy-by-the-six-pack perfume that strippers wear to hide the smell of vagasil and failure? This isn't that pretty. I feel it burning my skin like a cloud of WWI mustard gas - and the woman's obviously on her way to work! I should warn homeland security. I hope I don't pick up the smell and go to work smelling like composting goats.

Christ its repulsive. I wish someone would fart up indian food just to counter-balance this olfactory nightmare. I'm getting lightheaded - maybe the sweet release of asphyxiation will free me soon?

Moral of the story: ladies (and fellas - you can be stinky too) please use some discretion when applying anything smelly. If you think "hey this smells good, I should use SOME MORE!" then your decision making capability is compromised and you should not apply perfume, operate heavy machinery, shoot a gun, or breathe for the rest of the day.

Shop here for ME and MY BENEFIT!

Alright - Upromise is figuring out how to use social networking and... you know... the *rest of the internet* to expand. Hey, when you shop, shop through this link:

http://www.upromise.com/guest/2451898627

Go on, click it. You want to. Click it and buy something damn you!

Tenure: good for teachers, bad for kids.

Could there be hope? In DC of all places, someone's standing up to the "education establishment" mafia. NYT's article re the efforts of Superintendent Michelle Rhee to reform the teaching establishment has some great ideas for reforming tenure (even though it doesn't go as far as eliminating it). If Randi Weingarten's worried, you know it's on the right track!

The Tax System - Explained With Beer

This was emailed to me last night, and though I don't know if the attribution is correct, it's a very clear description of America's tax system. Plus it talks about beer.

The Tax System - Explained With Beer

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

• The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
• The fifth would pay $1.
• The sixth would pay $3.
• The seventh would pay $7.
• The eighth would pay $12.
• The ninth would pay $18.
• The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

• The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
• The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
• The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
• The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 ( 25% savings).
• The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).
• The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.

For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

Cognitive dissonance

This is disconcerting. I work on Wall St. I have an MBA from one of the top business schools on planet earth. I'm a devout capitalist that counts Atlas Shrugged as one of the most important and influential books of anyone's life. I loath socialist, class warriors, and the Kennedys... And yet I have to vote for Obama.

I can't vote for the fascists even if they have a much better tax policy. The election shouldn't be a choice between theocracy and socialism but c'est la vie. Its all so very off-putting.

Beware the looters. SHAME on the republicans for selling out to the theocratic nitwits in the midwest and south (oh, and Alaska apparently). They've managed to turn the great career of McCain into John Kerry circa 2004.

Word of the day

Here's another word of the day: Obsequious.

This was part of a song lyric I heard when I was in junior high, and randomly googled on the train. Turns out I've been singing "Infamous, anonymous, nefarious, and bane" but this whole time its actually "Obsequious, arrogant, clandestine, and bane".

Go figure.

House Democrats contemplate abolishing 401(k) tax breaks

Here we goooooooooooooo! Down the drain that is. The socialisation of America has begun, and Obama's not even in office yet! This October 12th article in Investment News highlight a brilliant plan to replace your 401(k) tax deduction with... SURPRISE! A GOVERNMENT PROGRAM!!


House Democrats contemplate abolishing 401(k) tax breaks

Mandatory contributions from workers considered
By Sara Hansard October 12, 2008, 6:01 AM EST

Powerful House Democrats are eyeing proposals to overhaul the nation's $3 trillion 401(k) system, including the elimination of most of the $80 billion in annual tax breaks that 401(k) investors receive.

House Education and Labor Committee Chairman George Miller, D-Calif., and Rep. Jim McDermott, D-Wash., chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee's Subcommittee on Income Security and Family Support, are looking at redirecting those tax breaks to a new system of guaranteed retirement accounts to which all workers would be obliged to contribute.
A plan by Teresa Ghilarducci, professor of economic-policy analysis at The New School for Social Research in New York, contains elements that are being considered. She testified last week before Mr. Miller's Education and Labor Committee on her proposal.

At that hearing, the director of the Congressional Budget Office, Peter Orszag, testified that some $2 trillion in retirement savings has been lost over the past 15 months.
Under Ms. Ghilarducci's plan, all workers would receive a $600 annual inflation-adjusted subsidy from the U.S. government but would be required to invest 5% of their pay into a guaranteed retirement account administered by the Social Security Administration. The money in turn would be invested in special government bonds that would pay 3% a year, adjusted for inflation.
The current system of providing tax breaks on 401(k) contributions and earnings would be eliminated.
"I want to stop the federal subsidy of 401(k)s," Ms. Ghilarducci said in an interview. "401(k)s can continue to exist, but they won't have the benefit of the subsidy of the tax break."
Under the current 401(k) system, investors are charged relatively high retail fees, Ms. Ghilarducci said.
"I want to spend our nation's dollar for retirement security better. Everybody would now be covered" if the plan were adopted, Ms. Ghilarducci said.
She has been in contact with Mr. Miller and Mr. McDermott about her plan, and they are interested in pursuing it, she said.
"This [plan] certainly is intriguing," said Mike DeCesare, press secretary for Mr. McDermott.
"That is part of the discussion," he said.
While Mr. Miller stopped short of calling for Ms. Ghilarducci's plan at the hearing last week, he was clearly against continuing tax breaks as they currently exist.
SAVINGS RATE

"The savings rate isn't going up for the investment of $80 billion," he said. "We have to start to think about ... whether or not we want to continue to invest that $80 billion for a policy that's not generating what we now say it should."
"From where I sit that's just crazy," said John Belluardo, president of Stewardship Financial Services Inc. in Tarrytown, N.Y. "A lot of people contribute to their 401(k)s because of the match of the em-ployer," he said.Mr. Belluardo's firm does not manage assets directly.
Higher-income employers provide matching funds to employee plans so that they can qualify for tax benefits for their own defined contribution plans, he said.
"If the tax deferral goes away, the employers have no reason to do the matches, which primarily help people in the lower income brackets," Mr. Belluardo said.
"This is a battle between liberalism and conservatism," said Christopher Van Slyke, a partner in the La Jolla, Calif., advisory firm Trovena LLC, which manages $400 million. "People are afraid because their accounts are seeing some volatility, so Democrats will seize on the opportunity to attack a program where investors control their own destiny," he said.
The Profit Sharing/ 401(k) Council of America in Chicago, which represents employers that sponsor defined contribution plans, is "staunchly committed to keeping the employee benefit system in American voluntary," said Ed Ferrigno, vice president in the Washington office.
"Some of the tenor [of the hearing last week] that the entire system should be based on the activities of the markets in the last 90 days is not the way to judge the system," he said.
No legislative proposals have been introduced and Congress is out of session until next year.
However, most political observers believe that Democrats are poised to gain seats in both the House and the Senate, so comments made by the mostly Democratic members who attended the hearing could be a harbinger of things to come.

ADVICE AT ISSUE
In addition to tax breaks for 401(k)s, the issue of allowing investment advisers to provide advice for 401(k) plans was also addressed at the hearing.
Rep. Robert Andrews, D-N.J., was critical of Department of Labor proposals made in August that would allow advisers to give individual advice if the advice was generated using a computer model.
Mr. Andrews characterized the proposals as "loopholes" and said that investment advice should not be given by advisers who have a direct interest in the sale of financial products.
The Pension Protection Act of 2006 contains provisions making it easier for investment advisers to give individualized counseling to 401(k) holders.
"In retrospect that doesn't seem like such a good idea to me," Mr. Andrews said. "This is an issue I think we have to revisit. I frankly think that the compromise we struck in 2006 is not terribly workable or wise," he said.
Last Thursday, the Department of Labor hastily scheduled a public hearing on the issue in Washington for Oct. 21.
The agency does not frequently hold public hearings on its proposals.
E-mail Sara Hansard at shansard@investmentnews.com.

Obama and the Tax Tipping Point

How long before taxpayers are pushed too far?

Another great articulation of why the Obama tax programs (in fact the Democrats' tax programs since the 1940s) lead exclusively to ruin.

This opinion piece - "Obama and the Tax Tipping Point" - is in today's WSJ. Today in OpinionJournal:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122463231048556587.html?mod=rss_opinion_main


The biggest problem with Obama is of course McCain. The guy has no economic or tax plan to counter Obama's nonsense. Where's Steve Forbes with his flat tax proposal? Hell even hillbilly Huckabee figured out that fairtax.org had a point. McCain's not FOR anything, just against Obama.

Unions lie again

With alarming regularity I get factcheck items in my inbox about how the unions distort, manipulate, and flat-out lie to advance their socialist looter agenda.

This one is about two of my favorite unions, the UAW (determined to destroy the american auto industry) and the SEIU (the folks who instead of going to work get drunk and bang on drums, pots & pans, and passersby in front of the giant rat in NY).

They're both running false ads against McCain's proposed health "plan". Link: http://www.factcheck.org/mobile/article.php?id=811&page=3. There's enough wrong with his plan that it can be criticized with truth, they don't have to make shit up.

I hate that little tramp Dora

So a couple of days ago, I posted "Vlad hates Diego" as my facebook status. To my surprise, this generated a flurry of replies (ok a couple of replies, but to me that's a flurry). Hence I feel the need to clarify my statement.

I don't actually *hate* Diego; I was just kind of sick of him when I wrote that. My kid's a big Diego fan.

I *do* hate Dora though. She and her little non-sequitor minions all receive my loathing (you too Boots, and you, the weird blue cow with the bandanna). Why you ask? Well:

1. She dresses like a slob, with her belly hanging out of her shirt. And she's a child that goes off "exploring" in the wilderness. Where are her parents? I don't want my kid wandering into the woods by himself with hopes of a magic map rescuing him.
   
2. All the socio-political bullshit that show tries to program into our kids. The only solution to many of the challenges she faces are to speak spanish?
   
3. There's no "Jenny the Explorer" teaching latin american kids to speak english
   
4. The only badguy (Swiper) is the only character that doesn't speak spanish, nor have an accent.
   
5. Sometimes she runs across characters that don't speak english, and makes no attempt to help them even though she's bilingual. We're all expected to learn Spanish to communicate with Tuga the Turtle (ok that's a Diego character but its the same principle)
   
6. Finally, I don't like the way she talks to the viewer like they're retarded (Do YOU see the TREE? Good!)

End of diatribe.

Hey, you! How much money do you make?

Looky at what I found, courtesy of a Money magazine article:

http://www.glassdoor.com

Gamechanger.

Anonymously post your title, company and salary, and you get info on other salaries. And then you feel bad.

The origins of the problem

This post (http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/easescredit.asp) from snopes.com has links to the NYT stories it quotes. Hmmmm lesseee now... Bush was *for* oversight, Barney Frank and the Democrats of course opposed it, and BTW the Clinton administration started the subprime mess to placate their voting blocs... that doesn't seem to jive with the current rhetoric.

George Saunders does Palin

This is awesome - http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2008/09/22/080922sh_shouts_saunders.

But do you know what the difference is between a dead moose with lipstick on and a dead moose without lipstick?

Lipstick.

Think about it.

Moose are, truth be told, Élites. They are big and fast and sort of rule the forest. Sarah took that one down a notch. Who's Élite now, Bullwinkle?

Hey, remember the Taliban?

Remember once upon a time, when we could recognize actual “badguys”? Before we were all so afraid of Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, and John Ascroft, and “the media elite”, we were all pretty much able to agree that some people were unequivocally … “bad”. Sure, there were always upstanding American citizens on the far left or the far right willing to vouch that the Soviet communists or the Nazis were just misunderstood (hell, Michael Moore was flying people to Cuba just a couple of years ago) but on balance the rest of us could at least unite on some moral playing field:

* Nazis=bad.
* Khmer Rouge=bad
* North Korea=bad (even despite W’s “axis of evil” comments – yes they can be bad even that means you agree with W)
* Taliban= F’ng BAD

In the wave of politics and apologistics that has consumed us in the recent years, we’ve seemed to lose site of that last one. Yes, they can actually be gruesome horrendous monsters, even if that violates the spirit of multiculturalism. Even if that means you and Donald Rumsfeld agree on something.

NYT has a nice little article about the full-scale war now being waged in Pakistan’s “tribal” areas (link here). By “nice” I mean terrifying; here’s a little sample:

“Reports of Taliban terrorism are widespread.

In one case, scores of Taliban fighters confronted Iqbal Ahmed Khan, the brother of Waqar Khan, a member of the provincial assembly. The fighters ordered Mr. Khan, who was with two of his sons, to choose the son he wanted killed, said the president of the Awami National Party, Senator Asfandyar Wali.

After Mr. Khan was humiliated into choosing one son, the Taliban killed both boys, Mr. Khan and seven servants, Mr. Wali said.”

Like I keep saying, keep your eyes on the prize. I can’t wait for the slew of inane comments like “Oh yeah, well they only hate us because Bush cut taxes on Halliburton!” and “There’d be no Taliban if Bush signed the Kyoto treaty!” and “They’re just misunderstood – if we convert them to Jesus they’ll be fine!”.

Word of the day

Sometimes a word will grab my attention. Either I'll read it or grab it from an overheard conversation, or sometimes its totally random. The word usually amuses me for minutes at a time. I don't know how to spell it, but today's word is "bespeckled".

Wtf?? Bailout the UAW?

Bush approves a $25B loan package to BAIL OUT auto makers today! I guess that's ok since GM is Main Street not Wall Street. Why reward big auto for mismanagement and lack of innovation? Why reward the greedy bloodsucking unions that devoured these companies the way maggots devour a corpse? Is it because the socialist unions control enough weak, corrupt politicians and the Democratic machines in the midwest? I wonder.

Don't be greedy; share the blame!

Well, looks like the Democrats are again poised to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Here we are with America blaming Bush and the Republicans for the stock market slide and something nebulously called "bailouts for Wall Street" - and all the Dems had to do to convince voters they were helping is just SHUT UP and pass the bailout plan. Then, Nancy decides to wing it while giving her speech. Why? Was open mic night canceled? Why use the occasion to sound like a petty vindictive crank on the junior prom committee? She could of just shut up and not given the gaggle of stupids the knife with which to cut off their noses from our collective spited face! Or maybe she's been a partisan hack so long that she in fact couldn't have.

live to fight another day...

...any other day. A coworker made a comment to me today, along the lines of "we made history; we can say we were working on that worst day of the last 20 years". Trouble is, it's not whether you work on the worst day - it's if you work on the day after.

Stay on target!

This is great. There's complex financial machinations driving huge changes in multiple financial markets. People's lives are impacted in multiple ways; some lost money in their retirement plans' investments, others are having trouble paying their mortgages, thousands are losing their jobs in the financial industry, and the tax payers will have to pay for some of this fiasco. However, I'm reassured - we should all be reassured! - that both campaigns, congress, and the press are laser-focused on the root problem: rich people.

That's right, we're all shocked (SHOCKED!) to have discovered that there are people who run big companies that make a lot of money - here's a list of the nefarious capitalist pigs. Clearly, this is unacceptable. The American dream - on Main St., not Wall St. - is to toil 10-12 hours per day for a minimum wage (minus union dues). It certainly is NOT to be personally wealthy, or to lead a company that provides the livelihoods of hundreds of thousands of employees.

There's no justice for redneck's victims

So, putting aside any jokes about how the perpetrators here almost certainly share the same political and religious affiliations are Mike Huckabee and Sara Palin, I think it's sad that there's been no progress in this case. A while ago I wrote about how some red-blooded southerner acquired carnal knowledge of a defenseless goat. In doing some blog clean-up I ran across this follow-up story:

Molested goat case stymied by contaminated DNA sample

A semen sample obtained with a rape kit from a dead goat found in Mossy Head will not lead to an arrest at this time.

It seems authorities are unable to catch the assailant and bring him to the light of justice, and enable me to mock them unceasingly.

Don't touch

How do you think a two-year-old responds to "don't touch the computer"? Hint - not by not touching.

Right before our eyes

Hey look at that! This whole time I've been directing random soapbox diatribes to facebook, but turns out there's a mobile blogging feature on this blog!

Foreclosure pets - F'ng sad

Times are getting rough when you have to ditch the family pet. CBS reports that pets are being given up to shelters (at best) when people can't afford them any more. I guess that was always the case, but they're positioning it as "Foreclosure Pets". When the phenomenon has a clever name on NY local news, that's when it's officially sad.

Selling a piece of history

Well my friends the time has come. Stu is selling the original black smoker, which was the first one custom built for Stu-Pit competition use. He's put it on craigslist here, and I gotta say it's a bargain at his asking price. Then again Stu will sell almost anything for a fifth of Jim Beam and a place to sleep it off, so I guess it's relative.

Stu-Pit updates

We've updated the stu-pit website (www.stu-pit.com) with a new contest schedule and pics of the new not-built-by-hand-while-drunk smoker.

Upcoming BBQ Contests:

• 34th Annual Monmouth County Fair on July 25 and 26 at East Freehold Showgrounds, Kozloski Road, Freehold
• Neil Stein Garry Maddox BBQ Challenge on August 23 at Citizen's Bank Park
• Bridgeton King Pig BBQ on September 19 and 20
• Diamond State BBQ Championship on October 17 and 18 at Dover Downs Hotel & Casino, DE

Also we put up a facebook "page" for the Stu-Pit BBQ team, so go there and become a fan why doncha.

The Onion nails the Bear Stearns buy-out

The Onion nails it again.

JPMorgan Chase Acquires Bear Stearns In Tedious-To-Read News Article

NEW YORK—As a volatile market reacts to news of the Bear Stearns fire-sale deal with a surge in stock prices but reduced bond yield, officers...

Kansas - making us all feel better about not living there

Are you f'ng kidding me? How fat and lazy do people in the Midwest need to be? You may have read about my disdain for Kansas in this blog, but Jesus! Isn't this taking it to a new low?

Sheriff: Woman sat on toilet for 2 years

WICHITA, Kan. - Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years — so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

(full story here) And what gets me most is not only did this "individual" have a boyfriend, but the boyfriend stayed with her for two years!! Bringing food and water!!! And never calling the cops!!!!

And NOBODY ELSE called the cops! You know he must've at least mentioned to his buddies (maybe at a rally, or a goat rape, or a tractor pull or wherever rednecks congregate) that his girlfriend is stuck to the toilet. Maybe like 6 weeks in he's got to tell somebody, and that person gets on the horn to the cops, or to the local radio station. But no, it's Kansas...

Raisins - good for you, bad for the pup

I got this via email, and apparently its something that's been "proven"on Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/raisins.asp). Apparently, besides chocolate, macadamia nuts, and some other foods, raisins are very harmful to dogs. This is pretty scary since I have a toddler who doesn't eat chocolate or macadamia, but does eat grapes and raisins by the fistful. He also has a habit (as toddlers do) of "sharing" with the dog.

WARNING Dog Owners

This week I had the first case in history of raisin toxicity ever seen at MedVet. My patient was a 56 pound, 5 yr old male neutered lab mix who ate half a canister of raisins ometime between 7:30 AM and 4:30 PM on Tuesday. He started with vomiting, diarrhea and shaking about 1 AM on Wednesday but the owner didn't call my emergency service until 7 AM.

I had heard somewhere about raisins AND grapes causing acute renal failure but hadn't seen any formal paper on the subject. We had her bring the dog in immediately. In the meantime, I called the ER service at MedVet, and the doctor there was like me—had heard something about it, but.... Anyway, we contacted the ASPCA National Animal Poison Control Center and they said to give I V fluids at 1 1/2 times maintenance and watch the kidney values for the next 48-72 hours.

The dog's BUN (blood urea nitrogen level) was already at 32 (normal less than 27) and creatinine over 5 (1.9 is the high end of normal). Both are monitors of kidney function in the bloodstream. We placed an I V catheter and started the fluids. Rechecked the renal values at 5 PM and the BUN was over 40 and creatinine over 7 with no urine production after a liter of fluids.

At the point I felt the dog was in acute renal failure and sent him on to MedVet for a urinary catheter to monitor urine output overnight as well as overnight care. He started vomiting again overnight at MedVet and his renal values have continued to increase daily. He produced urine when given lasix as a diuretic. He was on 3 different anti-vomiting medications and they still couldn't control his vomiting.

Today his urine output decreased again, his BUN was over 120, his creatinine was at 10, his phosphorus was very elevated and his blood pressure, which had been staying around 150, skyrocketed to 220. He continued to vomit and the owners elected to euthanize.

This is a very sad case—great dog, great owners who had no idea raisins could be a toxin. Please alert everyone you know who has a dog of this very serious risk. Poison control said as few as 7 raisins or grapes could be toxic. Many people I know give their dogs grapes or raisins as treats. Any exposure should give rise to immediate concern. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Laurinda Morris, DVM
Danville Veterinary Clinic
Danville, Ohio

Now here's the thing. My kid's been feeding whatever he can to the dog, including grapes and raisins. Plus the dog's become a ninja at stealing food. But we've never (don't jinx it!) had a problem; in fact the fat pup ate a bunch of Hershey's kisses once and didn't even flinch - though we did call the vet that time. So I ask you, has anyone actually experienced a health problem with their dog after they ate one of the "prohibited foods"? And does anyone know of other common household foods that are dangerous to dogs?

Fun times

I have, in the past 48 hours, been searched by the police in Grand Central, vomited on by a tiny orange man, and spooned by a dog.

Stay in school, kids

This post on one of the blogs I follow (www.controlledgreed.com) got me a little stirred up. It's titled "College a waste of time and money?" There was a similarly-themed question on linkedin.com this week asking "Is it derogatory to be a college dropout?". While both threads include valid points, especially the "opportunity cost" of going to college balanced against the incremental return, I have to call bullshit.

If you plan on working in the corporate world, formal education is essential. If you're planning on being an entrepreneur and starting your own business, corporate experience is important; it gives you an edge over other entrepreneurs, bith in the networking aspect as well as exposure to those elements you think you don't like. "I don't want to wear a suit and have a boss!" How do you know you don't? Because MTV told you it's not cool, or because you tried it and learned that about yourself? Of course, if you plan on starting a band, or being an artist, or a professional adventurer, or missionary, you can probably skip college. I made the comments below in response to the controlledgreed post; I wonder what others would say ion the subject... Am I being too old-fashioned in my belief that going to business school and working on ridiculous projects with teams of people you don't know and may not like teaches you important skills?

Sorry folks, you can talk about alternatives to education, but I work in financial services (and technology for financial services before that) and I will not hire you or your kids without a college degree. Also I would not have been hired in any job I had without it. At least you need to explain why you didn't go: "I needed to support my family, so couldn't afford it, but 6 months in a trade school got me a job" is acceptable. "I don't believe in the concept that I'd have to take Literature when I'm more of a science guy" is not. I agree that the quality of your education is critical, and socialization plays into that quality - hence the University of Phoenix MBAs get less credit in my book - but education is required. Mind you it doesn't guarantee success, just gets you in the door. Without it, enjoy your alternatives.

Hillary Clinton = Welsey Mouch

Holy shit. I was trying to take a break from ranting about politics, but it's becoming just scary how our "fearless leaders" are taking the worst possible ideas from literature and attempting to apply them to our lives. Earlier I wrote about how Mike Huckabee is becoming Nehemia Scudder; now it seems that Hillary Clinton is doing her best Welsey Mouch impersonation. For those who don't know the character of Mouch, he is "the country's economic dictator" in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged.

Senator Clinton:

Clinton said any agreement should include a moratorium on foreclosures of at least 90 days on owner-occupied homes with subprime mortgages. Any agreement should also include a rate freeze on adjustable mortgages of at least five years or until the loan is converted into a fixed-rate mortgage, she said.
Clinton said the freeze would give the housing market time to stabilize and homeowners time to build equity. She also called on the mortgage industry to provide regular reports on the number of mortgages they have modified. (source)

Wesley Mouch:

"The economic condition of the country was better the year before last than it was last year, and last year it was better than it is at present. It’s obvious that we would not be able to survive another year of the same progression. Therefore, our sole objective must now be to hold the line. To stand still in order to catch our stride. To achieve total stability. Freedom has been given a chance and has failed. Therefore, more stringent controls are necessary. Since men are unable and unwilling to solve their problems voluntarily, they must be forced to do it.” He paused, picked up the sheet of paper, then added in a less formal tone of voice, “Hell, what it comes down to is that we can manage to exist as and where we are, but we can’t afford to move!
So we’ve got to stand still..."

Dogs give up their lives to save family

This article I saw in the "Odd News" section on Yahoo goes to prove Andy Rooney's quote:

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person”.

Apparently, two dogs helped save the lives of their owners, at the expense of their own doggie lives. Very sad, yet very noble. I think about all the times I yell at my own dog when he starts barking at things only he can see, and I have to remind myself that he's not just being annoying (well OK he gets very annoying) but he really thinks he's helping. They don't really "think" about it in those terms, because dogs have brains the size of my toe, but they mostly have good intentions. Well done Bella and Maddie.

New Favorite Site pro tempore

I've been way too political lately, so I decided to again rant about the collection of human mental excrement that is the internet. Check out this awesomeness for example:

http://www.theonion.com/content/atlas/

This is a link to The Onion's "Our Dumb World" site. They have country profiles as well as point-of-interest highlights. Click around, see what you find. My favorite item: the country profile for Democratic Republic of Congo - Like a Zoo You Get Killed At...

Radar's article on McCain's enemies list

Wow - the more I learn about McCain the better I like the guy. Specifically this article falls into the "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" category. If this collection of whack-jobs hates McCain, I'm getting me a McCain bumper sticker. Radar doesn't even capture the animosity of Dobson (or for that matter Huckabee) but as I've said before that scores him bonus points in my book...

Dobson endorses Huckabee

Dobson says "he could not in good conscience vote for John McCain" - that's good enough for me. I'm not a big McCain fan but now that Mullah Dobson hates the guy...

John McCain for President!

For the record, Dobson and his ilk are the Taliban with a better shave. These hateful, ignorant, backwoods freaks are emblematic of what is wrong with American society today.

The Onion kills Brady

Patriots' Season Perfect For Rest Of Nation

FOXBOROUGH, MA—As the once-invincible, still-insufferable Patriots attempt to come to grips with their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the Giants, the death of their dream to go undefeated, and the possible end of their dynasty, almost every other...

I thought the Onion was satire, but they seem to hit it right on the nose with this piece! Favorite line:

"...as a team that has been insufferable and unappealing in victory instantly became inconsolable and self-pitying in defeat."

Mike Huckabee = Nehemiah Scudder

Some of the most effective dire warnings about how human society [will have / has] gone astray come from great writers. Literary works like Farenheit 451 and Brave New World show us frightening visions of where our own actions as a society can take us. Now that Huckabee has won a modest victory in the South, I think it’s time to point out another Heinlein work that serves as a harbinger of doom yet is often underrated and under-referenced in such discussions: Revolt in 2100 .

One of the taglines of the book (written during the cold war) was "In the end, it wasn't the communists who got us after all". Now you all know I'm no friend to communists (nor to socialists, nor to any breed of looter) so this is not to excuse the danger we face from such folk. However, this serves to remind us of the danger we face from the rising power of Christianists (yep, just like Islamist but more white-bread) in our own society.

Which of the current presidential candidates most eagerly yearns to establish a Christian Caliphate here in America that would echo the horror of Revolt? Give you a hint: he doesn’t believe in science and yesterday won Georgia… Everyone considering voting for this clown should read this book - although many of his minions awaiting the rapture might actually want to live in such a dystopia. Maybe they should read Philip Pullman instead...

Why Mike Huckabee Scares Me (or scares Marc)

My friend Marc wrote a nice response about Huckabee and religion in government on facebook, but you'd have to be on facebook to read it. I've reposted it here for my legions of readers to absorb...

James Madison, the author of the document to which every person elected to the presidency MUST swear to uphold and defend, would have been deeply troubled by this debate. Religion is faction. Even those who maintain their LACK of faith belong to a faction. Faction is inevitable in a free society. Even if we destroyed all remnants of religion, left a nation of infants here to be self sufficient, and all killed ourselves before those infants knew what happened, the survivors would still grow up to become factioned by class, belief, etc. Even in Christianity, in Revelation, when the whole of mankind is exposed to the truth of God and Jesus, humanity is factioned into those saved and not saved. Now, if faction is inevitable in a free society, how are we to maintain that free society if one faction believes itself to be correct in something that cannot be proven while one is alive?

We can either get rid of the causes of factions or offset the effects of faction (of course, I'm paraphrasing Madison here). Getting rid of the causes of faction is impossible in a free society because it requires destroying the liberty of the free society or getting every man woman and child to agree on one thing. That means we must offset the effects of faction. The constitution has been set up to do just this by creating a democratic republic. In a pure democracy, if some maniac were able to sway the majority into believing his/her way, he could then abuse that mandate to his disgression. In our republic, the maniac is rendered impotent by two of our greatest qualities: federalism and representation. Our system of federalism separates power into 50 smaller units. Our system of representation falls into separation of powers; populous states are rewarded more representation while everyone is still represented. In this case, even if a maniac comes along and is able to sway the popular majority of one state, section, or even the whole country itself, the system will still prevail.

Those of you professing that Mike Huckabee "scares you", take comfort in this: Even if Mr. Huckabee were to amass an overwhelming majority of support from Arkansas or the deep south or even the United States of America, he would still be hard pressed to eliminate the document that he is bound by. The most important thing for people afraid of a dominant faction to do is to vote. By voting (not just for president, but for every election no matter how trivial) those in fear of the majority ensure they still have a voice. What Mr. Madison most likely couldn't have predicted was for people to become apathetic and complacent. To quote Michael Douglas' character in "The American President": "This is advanced citizenship, folks! You got to want it and want it bad."

The US has seen its share of maniacal yet popular movements. Abolition, secession, unchecked capitalism, xenophobic hysteria, court-packing, nuclear hysteria, communist hysteria (which, incidentally is the reason we have "God" in our pledge of allegiance) all come and go. If the majority wins, the movement wins. If the movement is meritorious, it remains (i.e. abolition). If said movement should lose veracity over time, it cannot persist (i.e. prohibition).

So, in short, speak your voice with your vote. Debate party, policy, and platform until your voice is hoarse. Welcome the next president to the white house as a public servant, and only that. For the people who sit in the oval office have no more power to mandate their personal beliefs than each and every one of us have to destroy theirs. I'll end by quoting Madison:

The influence of factious leaders may kindle a flame within their particular States, but will be unable to spread a general conflagration through the other States. A religious sect may degenerate into a political faction in a part of the Confederacy; but the variety of sects dispersed over the entire face of it must secure the national councils against any danger from that source. A rage of any improper or wicked project will be less apt to pervade the whole body of the Union than a particular member of it; in the same proportion as such a malady is more likely to taint a particular county or district, than an entire State.

Huh-ha....he said "taint".

Smurf your smurfing terrorism, here's the real news

Smurfs -- known in the original Belgian comic strip as Schtroumpfs -- may only be as tall as three apples ...

Again, I need to understand what strange algorithm (or stoned intern) at Reuters decides what stories warrant a "priority". It seems almost uncomfortable to read about the Smurfs in any context, but for fuck sake it's between a bomb in Karachi and a bomb in Kabul!

There's people dying across the globe but stop the presses! This time, there's a superfluity of smurf vaginas! C'mon Reuters; you're better than this. Also, why is this a Reuters World story to begin with? Do they know the Smurfs aren't really in our "world"? Who did the fact checking? I'm so tired...