I haven't ranted in a while but man, this story set me off. I'm not pissed that the Jesus-freaks lost - far from it. I'm pissed that they still get so much respect.
"Late-night comedians have been making cracks about Kansas, portraying it
as backward and ignorant. "
What, like it's not? Look, I'm sorry if you live in Kansas. I'm sorry if you live in the Midwest. The reason I'm sorry is that you might be a very nice person, but are still a backwards hick. I know I know, there's big cities in Kansas, and all across the Midwest; India-no-place is much more cosmopolitan than I think; I'm just an east-coast snob. I've heard all this before. And yes, when I was in Omaha, everyone was very nice, but face it: when Midwesterners tell you that their place in the Midwest is not an ignorant backwater, it's like people with cats trying to convince you that their cat is different, their cat is more like a dog, their cat doesn't make them gay... Not only are these corn-fed Taliban trying to alter the basic realities of science (the Onion did a barely-satirical piece about "intelligent falling"), but they're also the people that protest at soldiers' funerals about how "God hates fags". God doesn't hate fags, he hates Kansas. That's why Kansas gets tornados and Manhattan gets to make fun of Kansas.
I hate the Midwest. I hate Kansas. I hate cats. And so do you.
