Wtf?? Bailout the UAW?

Bush approves a $25B loan package to BAIL OUT auto makers today! I guess that's ok since GM is Main Street not Wall Street. Why reward big auto for mismanagement and lack of innovation? Why reward the greedy bloodsucking unions that devoured these companies the way maggots devour a corpse? Is it because the socialist unions control enough weak, corrupt politicians and the Democratic machines in the midwest? I wonder.

Don't be greedy; share the blame!

Well, looks like the Democrats are again poised to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Here we are with America blaming Bush and the Republicans for the stock market slide and something nebulously called "bailouts for Wall Street" - and all the Dems had to do to convince voters they were helping is just SHUT UP and pass the bailout plan. Then, Nancy decides to wing it while giving her speech. Why? Was open mic night canceled? Why use the occasion to sound like a petty vindictive crank on the junior prom committee? She could of just shut up and not given the gaggle of stupids the knife with which to cut off their noses from our collective spited face! Or maybe she's been a partisan hack so long that she in fact couldn't have.

live to fight another day...

...any other day. A coworker made a comment to me today, along the lines of "we made history; we can say we were working on that worst day of the last 20 years". Trouble is, it's not whether you work on the worst day - it's if you work on the day after.

Stay on target!

This is great. There's complex financial machinations driving huge changes in multiple financial markets. People's lives are impacted in multiple ways; some lost money in their retirement plans' investments, others are having trouble paying their mortgages, thousands are losing their jobs in the financial industry, and the tax payers will have to pay for some of this fiasco. However, I'm reassured - we should all be reassured! - that both campaigns, congress, and the press are laser-focused on the root problem: rich people.

That's right, we're all shocked (SHOCKED!) to have discovered that there are people who run big companies that make a lot of money - here's a list of the nefarious capitalist pigs. Clearly, this is unacceptable. The American dream - on Main St., not Wall St. - is to toil 10-12 hours per day for a minimum wage (minus union dues). It certainly is NOT to be personally wealthy, or to lead a company that provides the livelihoods of hundreds of thousands of employees.

There's no justice for redneck's victims

So, putting aside any jokes about how the perpetrators here almost certainly share the same political and religious affiliations are Mike Huckabee and Sara Palin, I think it's sad that there's been no progress in this case. A while ago I wrote about how some red-blooded southerner acquired carnal knowledge of a defenseless goat. In doing some blog clean-up I ran across this follow-up story:

Molested goat case stymied by contaminated DNA sample

A semen sample obtained with a rape kit from a dead goat found in Mossy Head will not lead to an arrest at this time.

It seems authorities are unable to catch the assailant and bring him to the light of justice, and enable me to mock them unceasingly.

Don't touch

How do you think a two-year-old responds to "don't touch the computer"? Hint - not by not touching.

Right before our eyes

Hey look at that! This whole time I've been directing random soapbox diatribes to facebook, but turns out there's a mobile blogging feature on this blog!