The Onion nails the Bear Stearns buy-out

The Onion nails it again.

JPMorgan Chase Acquires Bear Stearns In Tedious-To-Read News Article

NEW YORK—As a volatile market reacts to news of the Bear Stearns fire-sale deal with a surge in stock prices but reduced bond yield, officers...

Kansas - making us all feel better about not living there

Are you f'ng kidding me? How fat and lazy do people in the Midwest need to be? You may have read about my disdain for Kansas in this blog, but Jesus! Isn't this taking it to a new low?

Sheriff: Woman sat on toilet for 2 years

WICHITA, Kan. - Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years — so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

(full story here) And what gets me most is not only did this "individual" have a boyfriend, but the boyfriend stayed with her for two years!! Bringing food and water!!! And never calling the cops!!!!

And NOBODY ELSE called the cops! You know he must've at least mentioned to his buddies (maybe at a rally, or a goat rape, or a tractor pull or wherever rednecks congregate) that his girlfriend is stuck to the toilet. Maybe like 6 weeks in he's got to tell somebody, and that person gets on the horn to the cops, or to the local radio station. But no, it's Kansas...

Raisins - good for you, bad for the pup

I got this via email, and apparently its something that's been "proven"on Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/raisins.asp). Apparently, besides chocolate, macadamia nuts, and some other foods, raisins are very harmful to dogs. This is pretty scary since I have a toddler who doesn't eat chocolate or macadamia, but does eat grapes and raisins by the fistful. He also has a habit (as toddlers do) of "sharing" with the dog.

WARNING Dog Owners

This week I had the first case in history of raisin toxicity ever seen at MedVet. My patient was a 56 pound, 5 yr old male neutered lab mix who ate half a canister of raisins ometime between 7:30 AM and 4:30 PM on Tuesday. He started with vomiting, diarrhea and shaking about 1 AM on Wednesday but the owner didn't call my emergency service until 7 AM.

I had heard somewhere about raisins AND grapes causing acute renal failure but hadn't seen any formal paper on the subject. We had her bring the dog in immediately. In the meantime, I called the ER service at MedVet, and the doctor there was like me—had heard something about it, but.... Anyway, we contacted the ASPCA National Animal Poison Control Center and they said to give I V fluids at 1 1/2 times maintenance and watch the kidney values for the next 48-72 hours.

The dog's BUN (blood urea nitrogen level) was already at 32 (normal less than 27) and creatinine over 5 (1.9 is the high end of normal). Both are monitors of kidney function in the bloodstream. We placed an I V catheter and started the fluids. Rechecked the renal values at 5 PM and the BUN was over 40 and creatinine over 7 with no urine production after a liter of fluids.

At the point I felt the dog was in acute renal failure and sent him on to MedVet for a urinary catheter to monitor urine output overnight as well as overnight care. He started vomiting again overnight at MedVet and his renal values have continued to increase daily. He produced urine when given lasix as a diuretic. He was on 3 different anti-vomiting medications and they still couldn't control his vomiting.

Today his urine output decreased again, his BUN was over 120, his creatinine was at 10, his phosphorus was very elevated and his blood pressure, which had been staying around 150, skyrocketed to 220. He continued to vomit and the owners elected to euthanize.

This is a very sad case—great dog, great owners who had no idea raisins could be a toxin. Please alert everyone you know who has a dog of this very serious risk. Poison control said as few as 7 raisins or grapes could be toxic. Many people I know give their dogs grapes or raisins as treats. Any exposure should give rise to immediate concern. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Laurinda Morris, DVM
Danville Veterinary Clinic
Danville, Ohio

Now here's the thing. My kid's been feeding whatever he can to the dog, including grapes and raisins. Plus the dog's become a ninja at stealing food. But we've never (don't jinx it!) had a problem; in fact the fat pup ate a bunch of Hershey's kisses once and didn't even flinch - though we did call the vet that time. So I ask you, has anyone actually experienced a health problem with their dog after they ate one of the "prohibited foods"? And does anyone know of other common household foods that are dangerous to dogs?

Fun times

I have, in the past 48 hours, been searched by the police in Grand Central, vomited on by a tiny orange man, and spooned by a dog.